A Confusing Escape

I think I need a break from the frenzy of travel writing….

It’s just that there’s a lot to tell, to share and relive. I’m not even done yet! It’s like this creative streak is pushing me to think and to write more. My hubby told me to take advantage of this sudden burst of inspiration because when that scary thing called writer’s block occurs, then there is no way of forcing me to write something when nothing comes out. He has a valid point. If something does come out, it is half assed and lack luster.

Looking back at my photos brings back all those beautiful memories, transports me back to the place and time when that moment seemed perfect and nothing else mattered. I guess it is my favorite form of escape. I guess that is why I am profusely writing these days. But I’ve got to take care of my present self too, right?

I need to take a break from travel writing. And write about me.

DSCN0067

There are times in your life when you just don’t know what to do.

When I was in the first grade, there was this boy who had a crush on me. And because I didn’t like it, I chased him around and when I caught up with him, I hit him. Does that seem to you like someone who knew what she was doing? Do you just hit someone because they liked you?

Graduating from high school was a happy event. I was with my best friends. We were going to go to college. But, did I know what I was going to do? Not really. My parents simply told me to go to Nursing school – “you have a better future working abroad as a nurse”, my mom told me in not so many ways. Sounds like someone who didn’t know what to do, but be an obedient daughter.

Nursing school… ah, what can I say? There were lots of uncertain moments, some were funny, others life changing. From being overwhelmed in reviewing for the board exams to telling a friend off. From not knowing how to do an enema properly to cutting classes. At this stage in my life, I certainly was confused.

Then Law school came. Wait, what? Yes, I didn’t know what to do after nursing school so I decided I wanted to be like my father. Or so I thought. Suffice it to say, I enjoyed Law school more than my years in Nursing. But then again, it wasn’t for me. I truly now didn’t know what to do. I wasn’t ready to be a nurse yet. What was I going to do???

Habitat for Humanity came at the right time. In my months of desperation and soul searching, I was able to join this non profit housing ministry where we helped the less fortunate people. Building simple homes for them and seeing their faces light up when we turned over their house keys during the dedication ceremony was something you wouldn’t forget. This was my rehab. This was my calling. I felt like I belonged here.

But then love came knocking at my door and then suddenly I didn’t know what to do again. I left Habitat to pursue Nursing, for a better future, I might say. At first unwillingly but eventually grew to like it. It was still helping people. Different environment but still. It’s that feeling of making a difference in someone’s life.

I know, this is getting long, sorry I got carried away.

Right now, let’s just say I am at a different crossroad of my so called life.

And I still don’t know what to do….

<I know prayers and winging it out helps… >                                                                                                                                     <Writing about it, too>

2 thoughts on “A Confusing Escape

  1. I can understand not knowing what to do. I love nursing, but it’s draining to the max. It’s hard to know what else fits. I thought about med school or exploring midwifery, but do I really want that? Good luck figuring out your path.

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